Google’s “What Do You Love” And Pornography

Posted on 17. Dec, 2011 by admin in News

Like any true scientist…I’m a closet pervert. I enjoy getting tied up and whipped and having hot wax poured over my nipples and letting beautiful woman in tight leather suits beat me with a reed. But the problem is…I am much too timid and terrified to do these things in real life.

Enter the internet…my bastion of depravity…the place where I can indulge in all things erotic without ever actually getting caught in the embarrassing situation of having to explain to anyone why I have third degree wax burns all over my man boobs.

It is for exactly this reason that I was thrilled last week when google launched “What do you love” a new concept in search engine marketing that coincided with their launch of google+ that aggregates all the search data for any given search term…google news, google images, google, google shopping…they pull it all in

Upon hearing this news, my mind went into creep overdrive. At last…google had given me the necessary tool to bring all my lustful desires into one handy portal…my fingers trembled as I punched in my first query…positive that upon clicking the search button I would be bombarded with all manner of depraved goodies that can only be found on the street of Tokyo’s Roppongi district, Amsterdam’s Red light district, or Hamburg’s Reeperbahn…

what I got in return was…well…unexpected

Kittens?…surely there must be a glitch in the system…I would enter another query…and this time…the carnality would flow forth from my computer like water from a damaged levee…the deluge of Flesh would be positively biblical!

Hoping for absolute original sin I clicked search once more…and…goddamned kittens again?

Ugghh…but I am unfazed…I know there is one search term that surely will produce the desired adult result that I so desperately crave from this potentially awesome new service from my friends at google…

…eh…

Seriously? Spongebob?…screw this…I’ll get my porn from the same place everyone else does…tumblr.