How To Become A Musician

Posted on 12. Nov, 2011 by in Opinion, Uncategorized

Step 1. Pick up an instrument. Now be aware, whatever particular instrument you prefer, chances are it is not that particularly interesting to the people that you will be playing it for. So to all of you “Oboe” players out there…just buy a guitar already.

Step 2. Join or start a band. Join a good band, join a bad band…it makes no nevermind (see step 4.)

Step 3. Write songs with the band or have the band write songs for you.

Step 4. Play these songs live to absolutely no one, even when you are in public places.

Step 5. Fight with your band about any one of the following topics:

  • A: Why no one comes to your shows.
  • C: T-shirt designs.
  • B: Whose “Band” this band really “Is”.

Side-note on subtopic B: this question usually answers itself…generally right after you or anyone else in your band says to the lead singer of the band “hey screw you man! who’s band is this anyway?”

Step 6: Quit the band in a huff and walk away taking your gear and your cut of everything (buttons, badges, t-shirts, stickers, cd’s, and miscellaneous everything else) out the door behind your ass with your head held high.

Step 7: Get a Job at Guitar Center.

 

Congratulations…you are now officially a musician!

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